"Bocchi The Rock" and Loneliness [3/3]
The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known
Are y’all tired of me talking about Bocchi The Rock yet? No? Wow. You guys have so much patience and love and I really really appreciate that.
And if you just found me and are first experiencing me going on a multi-newsletter rant about an anime that came out in 2022–
✨ W e l c o m e ✨
It doesn’t get better. It kind of plateaus. It’s a little unhinged.
Thank you for stopping by~
I kind of forgot where I was going with this but thank every high god there is because I, in my insomnia, wrote down a massive LIST in my NOTES APP about every little detail I wanted to hit on with Bocchi.
This is the last of it.
Thank you for indulging my obsession >:)
Bocchi is a Loner
When Kessoku Band is thinking of nicknames for Bocchi, (come to think of it, I don’t actually know Bocchi’s real, human girl name. Like they only ever call her “Bocchi” from the get, so I…I can’t remember her actual naaame) they come up with 一人ぼっち or hitoribocchi, which literally translates to “loneliness, aloneness, solitude.”
Bocchi for short, they literally see this pink-haired introvert and choose to call her by her main insecurity. Good friends at that. Her only friends.
Huh.
[They’re still really good people! Kind people. Despite them choosing a really weird nickname for Bocchi.]
This nickname also resonates with Bocchi and she is ecstatic to finally have a nickname, but even more so that she has friends to give her a nickname.
And what a conundrum. Being alone versus being lonely.
It’s okay to be alone. It sucks to feel lonely.
And the main difference comes from your perspective.
To love your own company, to relish the time you have to yourself and to appreciate your own thoughts in solitude. To be comfortable in your own skin and your own thoughts is what it means to be okay to be alone.
To be lonely is to have that gaping fear of singleness permeate every little thing you do. Of being unrecognized, of being alone, single for all of eternity.
To be okay with being alone yet still lonely is a permeating fear for many, many people in this modern world we live in.
To be alone in a crowded room is an all too familiar feeling. It’s nauseating and terrifying and unavoidable when you ask the world to accept you as you are.
Bocchi is a representation of that dichotomy. Introverted and hating having to put herself out there but desperate for some sort of human connection.
She is her own worst enemy. Because all that she wants, she cannot have.
“Out of fear of the world and of others…We create the illusion of being separate from the world, hoping thereby to avert suffering. In fact, what happens is just the opposite, since ego-grasping is a powerful magnet to attract suffering.
Our grasping to the perception of a “self” as a separate entity leads to an increasing feeling of vulnerability and insecurity. It also reinforces self-centeredness, mental rumination, and thoughts of hope and fear, and distances ourselves from others. This imagined self becomes the constant victim hit by life’s events.“
Bocchi is afraid to be herself. As much as she wants people to know her and her musicianship, she’s mortified of being recognized.
To show her true self, who she is and all that she wants to be, is to bare her soul to the world and ask for some sort of acknowledgement that the world does not have to grant her.
Much better to stick to the shadows, the darkened closet in her room, where anonymity is her closest ally and no one can demand anything from her.
We explore beyond that as her bandmates coax her out of her comfort zone and rally behind all her awkwardness.
Bocchi, for the majority of the show, is terrified of showing herself to the world and being rejected. On one hand it is the socially awkward adolescence inside of her that demands to be sheltered. On the other hand, it’s the precocious understanding that the world owes you nothing; that if the world will share anything with you, it will share hurt and heartbreak.
She’s right to be afraid. To want to protect that part of her that she barely understands because as passive a character as she is, she knows that bad things can and will happen.
The problem therein becomes desire.
What the fuck does that mean?
Well, my young Padawan, the conflict stems from Bocchi’s desire to be something more, to be greater and to be recognized.
According to Buddhism, she wants and is aware of the self and therefore she suffers.
Fully recognizing that she is an independent, cognizant human being with choices and (god forbid) wants is a terrifying ordeal.
She wants her self to be recognized as a talented musician and she wants to transcend this worldly plane with her music.
Individually, she cannot achieve this goal. With Kessoku Band, she becomes ever closer to achieving that ideal. But it is only through this community that she can thrive.
To succeed, she cannot go alone. To survive, she must accept her community.
To begin her process of healing, she must accept that she must be known.
With all the bells and whistles, thorns and thistles, that being seen in this society calls for.
She has to accept the mortifying ordeal of being known.